My stupid Spanish

This week I finally realized how stupid my thoughts about my Spanish are. I am a member of a meetup group where the members meet often to speak in Spanish with each other. This Monday we met at a restaurant. As usual, I wasn't speaking much. I ordered my food in English. When I spoke to the others, I said only a sentence or to at a time. I mostly listened. There was a girl there that was pretty good at speaking. She made a mistake ever so often, but she spoke fluently. Someone asked her why she joined the group. She then started talking about how unsure she felt with her Spanish. Her Spanish was horrible, she stated over and over again. She hated to make mistakes. She was afraid someone would speak to her in an accent she couldn't understand, and she would look stupid. This girl really annoyed me at first, and I couldn't figure out why. Why was she complaining so much about her Spanish, as she was talking in not-so-bad Spanish? Why was she so worried about making mistakes? She was communicating in Spanish, wasn't that the important part? I mean, she wasn't trying to use Spanish on the job, so perfection wasn't that important, right? It was only then that I realized that she was me. Those were my exact thoughts about my Spanish. My thoughts about my Spanish are really ridiculous.